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Contrary: Dealing with Polarity Responders
by
Kenrick Cleveland..
What’s a polarity responder? We’ve all had dealings with them. They are someone who no matter what the situation, statement or issue at hand, has to respond in opposition. ‘It’s a beautiful day.’
Polarity responder: ‘It’s too hot. And there isn’t enough shade.’
They’re easy to spot. And, to me, incredibly fun to deal with. I love it when I find polarity responders. I relax when I hear it because I think to myself, they’re toast. They’re mine. I simply give them something to respond to that’s to my advantage.
You’ll find a polarity responder uses the words ‘different’ or ‘difference’ quite often. Next time you’re eliciting criteria, make note of that. They’re very ‘difference’ oriented and will always see things exactly opposite in many or most matters.
If you have a disruptive employee or teenager or client who is a polarity responder, try this: ‘Would you do me a favor?’ PR: ‘Sure. What can I do for you?’
‘Only if you want to, you don’t have to, obviously. I don’t want to put you out.’
PR: ‘No. What is it? What is it?’
‘Okay, what I wanted to ask you is, would you listen closely to what’s going on and if you hear that I’ve ever said something that isn’t quite in keeping with what you think should be going on here, would you bring it to my attention right away?’
PR: ‘Certainly. But what you’re saying is great. You really know your stuff.’
‘Well, I know, but I know you’re going to find something so I want you just to bring it to my attention.’
This is a ‘polarity responder’ trap. If they find something wrong with what you’re saying and bring it to your attention, then they’ve done exactly what you asked them to do. If they don’t, then they haven’t been true to their polarity. Either way, you’re a winner. It binds them, in a way, preventing them from entering their polarity response. What they’ll try to do is listen closely so they can come up with something to tell you, thereby not interrupting you in your presentation.
PR: ‘Well, you know, you said this and I was curious why.’
‘Well, that’s really important. I knew there was no way you couldn’t bring that up so I’m really glad you did.’
Are they going to bring up the next thing they’ve noticed? No. Probably not, because they might fear you saying, ‘I knew you’d bring that up too.’ That response really pisses off the polarity responder.
The key to persuasion is utilizing patterns to your advantage. This is a really easy one to counteract. In this situation, my intention is to diffuse their pattern so it doesn’t obstruct anyone else either.
Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using
persuasion
. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in
persuasion strategies
.
Article Source:
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